Hole
by Supermel Returns
Summary: Takes place during New Moon. What if the pain becomes too unbearable for Bella after Edward leaves that she had to end it? Has sexual content in it. M to be safe.


**A/N: Soooo, I have finally decided to shy away from happy and sex craved and write some angst. Who doesn't love a little angsty one shot? **

**Anyyywaaayyysss, this is obviously Edward/ Bella. Takes place during New Moon. This will feature a short sexual flashback and also contains a lot on angst. **

**Short synop: What if the pain becomes too unbearable for Bella after Edward leaves that she had to end it? Hope you enjoy ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or anything affiliated with it.**

**Hole**

It's funny how time can pass so quickly even when you have nothing to pass it with. Even when there is nothing worth passing the time for.

I laughed sadly to myself and I know that this is almost the definition of how I have been living for the past four months ever since _he _left. The boy who tore my heart out of my chest. The boy whos name I can't even bear myself to think, for I fear I may break down into another depression.

I sighed and hugged my legs to my chest, an all too known routine that I have done for too long now. It's almost as if doing this gives me temporary relief to the deep hole in my chest that seems like it will never go away, thanks to a certain bronzed haired boy. I cringed even at the thought of him and how much he hurt me.

The memory of the night is still as clear as if it had happened yesterday. It was just a normal day; _he _casually asked me if I wanted to take a walk, in which I agreed. He took me into the forest and explained how him and his family were leaving. I begged to go with him, but he brushed it off, saying it was best for me. He told me he didn't love me anymore; that being with him hurt me too much. As if he knew anything about hurt; this hurt more than death itself.

I tried to draw in a deep breath, but came in shallow, for the hole in my chest took up some of my lung space too. I just now started to realize the hot, salty tears rolling down my cheeks and I rushed to wipe them away.

I lurched quickly off the bed and quickly make my way out of the house. I ignore Charlie's words and slam the door behind me. I soon find myself driving in an oddly familiar direction, tears of anger and hurt clouding my vision.

Suddenly, I am back at full attention again, almost shocked to find myself at where _they _used to live. I pull my truck to a stop in front of the ghost like house and slowly got out. The hole in my chest seemed to twinge in pain as I walked into the house. It was so empty I almost didn't recognize it.

I ran my fingers against the cool walls as I made my way up the staircase, to the third floor. As I got further up in the house, that familiarly aching scent started to drift into my nose. I cringed, bringing my arm up to my chest as my chest ached.

I sucked in a breath when I finally reached my destination. Everything that I held in was now pouring out so fast it was hard to comprehend. Edward Cullen had invaded my mind once again, and it hurt so bad. Every kiss, every 'I love you', every conversation, flowed back into my brain.

A sob escaped my mouth as I collapsed to the floor, my feeling finally getting the best of me. Everything I had been trying to hide from myself for the past few months was coming back full force, and it hurt so bad.

The pain was shooting through my whole body; like I was being tasered on every piece of my skin. All I could think of was Edward; Edward fucking Cullen. Anger flooded my senses, my fists clenching in reflex. A scream ripped out of my lungs, echoing loudly around the empty house, and the tears just came faster.

Why did he have to choose me? Why did he have to claim to love me, but then go back on it?

"WHY?" I screamed, jolting onto my feet. "WHY?!" I angrily shoved my foot through one of the many windows, the shards of glass digging in my leg. I growled and ignored the pain. I went to smash another one when I saw the part of his room where his couch bed used to reside and a memory flooded into my head.

_Flashback:_

"_Bella," He cooed, grabbing my hand and brung me to his couch. He sat me on top of him, lightly kissing my lips. He slowly snaked his hand under my shirt, his cool skin causing goose bumps all over me._

"_Edward?" I whispered against his marble lips._

"_I want you, Bella. I want to feel you around me," He whispered back, his eyes smoldering. I didn't disagree and kissed him hard._

_About ten minutes later, our clothes were shredded everywhere and Edward was slowly pumping himself in me. The pain was unbearable, but I tried to subside it and enjoy it for what it was worth. His eyes watched my every face expression, making sure I was comfortable. I simply nodded and he thrusted_ _faster._

_Soon, we were at a fast, but comfortable pace and the pleasure was unbelievable. _

"_Edddwwaardd," I groaned, gripping his sides as tight as I could. He was clutching the couch, his breath coming out in slow pants._

"_Aahhhhhh," He moaned; releasing. I came shortly after him and I laid back, exhausted._

"_I love you," He whispered in my ear._

"_I love you too..." I mumbled, fading into a peaceful sleep._

By this point, almost every window in his room had gotten my foot smashed through it. My anger was controlling me to the point I was about to throw myself through the window. Sobs were heaving uncontrollably from my chest and I jammed my bloody leg through the last window, a shriek coming from my mouth as a large chunk of glass dug into my leg.

Why did it hurt this bad? Why did this one boy make me feel like I was dead? Slowly, I slunk down to the ground, my tears starting to soak my white shirt. What was the point anymore? What was there for me to live for? Sure, I had my family and my friends, or my ex friends I should say. But, I was sure Charlie would at least understand. He lives with me and knows the pain I have been through.

I contemplate how badly I want to end my life. It turns out I have more cons than pros to my life. I let out a shaky breath as I yank the large shard of glass from my sliced up leg and stare at it. Its jagged edges would ensure maximum damage.

God, why did it come to this? Why is the only way I can end my pain is through a shard of _glass?_ My injuries were already extensive enough to where I should be in the hospital, but I felt none of it. I only felt the exhaustion of my blood loss. I shakily sat the shard on my wrist, almost hesitant to dig it into my cold skin.

Then in a flash, I heard my name, and I in reflex, jammed the shard in my skin. A quick gasp came out of my mouth, but I gritted my teeth together and dragged the jagged shard through more of my skin, blood quickly seeping out of the wound and coating my clothes. The feeling was oddly... relieving.

I could slowly feel my consciousness starting to slip from me, when I saw his face. God, I must already be dead. Though, he didn't look like he did in my memories. He looked antagonized. My angel was running toward me, yelling my name, but everything seemed to move in slow motion.

For the first time in a long time, I felt... happy. My eyes were slowly drifting shut and I fought to keep them open just so I could die with my angel's face etched in my head. I reached my hand out to try and touch his perfect face, which I found a task. His graceful body sat at my side, cradling my dying body. He helped my arm reach his face and his cold skin shocked my fingers.

"E..Ed," I gasped out. He shushed me, rocking me back and forth in his strong arms.

"Don't say another word," He told me sternly, a strong edge of sadness coating his melodic voice. I shook my head the best I could to tell him I wasn't finished.

"I... I...a-am s-s-sorry," I choked out, my breath now coming in short gasps. If my angel had the ability to cry, I was sure he would. I smiled sadly and stroked my fingers slowly across his marble skin. "S-So... sorry," He squeezed my hand tighter almost in an attempt to keep me alive.

"Please Bella... stay alive... please... I can't live without you!" He begged. I shook my head, touched his lips, then drew another breath.

"E...Edw-war-rd. Y-You h-have t-to stay a-al-live... for me," I gasped out, my last set of tears streaming down my cheeks. He nodded furiously, bending down to kiss my salty tears off my face. Then, he kissed me with strong passion, for he knew this would be our last kiss.

"I love you so much, Isabella Swan. I never should have left you; never. I can never forgive myself now for making you do this to yourself," He said sadly. I smiled and finally let my eyes start to drift shut.

"I love you too, m-my ang-gel..." I sighed, shutting my eyes. I heard a sob escape his chest as I let my arm fall to my side. As my consciousness drifted from me, I finally, for the first time in a long time, felt at peace.

**A/N: Wow. I am so weepy right now after writing that. I really hoped you liked it as much I loved writing it! And that little flashback is for my girl, Lauren, at Fanforum. Remember, reviews are love; good or bad!**

**-Mel **


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